This Week in Mentalists: The ‘So what…?’ edition

The Educators (from what I understand) give presentations to groups numbering anywhere from half a dozen to a few hundred. Half a dozen sounds scary, a few hundred sounds terrifying but I was extremely relieved to hear that all Educators are supported completely and are never forced to do anything they aren’t comfortable with. While giving a presentation is something I have never enjoyed doing and I always have to battle with my face turning a fluorescent shade of crimson, I think if I don’t take this opportunity, I will regret it for years to come.”

I have always wanted to battle the stigma around mental health. Having a diagnosis of psychosis which turned to schizophrenia after a year, these labels sound scary and I admit I stigmatised myself. I believed that being ‘psychotic’ meant that I was a murderer and being ‘schizophrenic’ meant that I was mad, bad and evil. I was my biggest bully when it came to mental health stigma and when I finally learnt that I was wrong, I became determined to help opinions change around mental health, particularly schizophrenia and psychosis. To get public opinion to change around schizophrenia and psychosis would hopefully prevent people from stigmatising themselves like I did.

It is all too easy to get caught up in the negative. This is true for all people, not just people with depression. However, when you add depression to the equation, it is even more difficult to steer your mind away from thoughts that weigh you down.

In my last post I mentioned how list making is something that helps keep me grounded. This is another place where I make lists. Sometimes it is hard to think of good things to say about yourself, so include things on the list that other people have said (even if you don’t really believe it). I also have accomplishments on the list, no matter how small. This way when I look at it I know I am capable of success.

Sometime last week I achieved the impressive milestone of my 200th post on How do you eat an elephant? Not bad for a part time blogger who was completely MENTAL for the first seven months, eh?

An awful lot has happened since I first sat down to write last April. Granted, some of it has been pretty bad, but on reflection I can’t help but thinking that most of it has been pretty damn good.

BELIEVE.

One simple, memorable word to focus on. Believe good things are possible. Believe in the seemingly impossible. And, hardest but potentially most rewarding of all, believe in myself – believe in what I am capable of, what I can do, and believe that I can be well and happy.

So I am ready to get on the train and to believe. It is a leap of faith. I haven’t been ready to take that leap until now, but here we go. Depression, you have had your fun. Now pack your bags, go away and never come back. I am changing the locks.

If you are going through what I have been through with this soul-destroying illness, never give up hoping. Keep dreaming. Keep looking for light in the darkness. Believe that you can and will get better.

I have thought long and hard about writing this Blog, mainly because I wanted to make sure, that my Dad was happy for me to do it. He has given me his full consent to write this.

This isn’t going to give any of his personal info or really discuss any of his medical history; it’s just really a reflection on my perspective of growing up with a parent who has a mental illness. I believe that it has positively impacted on my life and influenced the person I have become.

When I reflect about my experience growing up and the person I have become, I think that my Dad has had a very positive influence on me. I have never been ashamed of my Dads illness, even though I can’t say I always understood everything. I don’t want to make it sound like a fairy tale life, living with mental illness is always a challenge, but the negative aspects, were generally as a result of the reaction of others, to it.

But my Dad worked hard, faced bullies often and never let them beat him, he stands up for what he believes in and openly talks about his illness, he isn’t ashamed of who he is.

He has lived a full and meaningful life and has a wonderfully supportive family and circle of friends. I believe that the support my Dad has, is instrumental in his successful management of his illness. Lots of people aren’t as lucky and maybe if we were all more tolerant and understanding there wouldn’t be as many people having to struggle with their illness alone.

I am incredibly proud of my Dad, so like the people on the time to change campaign, who share their experience in the hope that one day mental illness will be more understood and accepted -

I want to say proudly, that yes my Dad has a mental illness, So what??